$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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