Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize