she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize