woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
