I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
