What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
They took my balls.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
