I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
A+ Viking dick
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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