Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
