So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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