i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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