no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm both gender and math confused
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
