I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
