Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
ttyl tear gas
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
