he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize