no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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