Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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