We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize