South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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