I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
