So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize