No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
