Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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