we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
