he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Randomize
