im about as happy as oj after his trial
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
