i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
