I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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