we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
