No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
