It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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