wake up i wanna do it froggy style
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
