the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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