the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
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