Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
