Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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