wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
