I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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