Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
