We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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