My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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