They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
