we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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