Where did you get a picture of my penis
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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