check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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