I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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