oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She needs sedatives and a leash
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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