woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
