Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
