where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
