There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
