last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
im on a boat
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