You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize