So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
