when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I love having hate sex.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize