You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
