is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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