Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
