i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
my sisters under your porch take her home
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
