watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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