he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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