a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
