I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
