Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
so much tequila, so little girl.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
