found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
