i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
When are your genitals available?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
