don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
