You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Randomize
