I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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