I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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