the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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