Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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