Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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